The Darkness Origins Volume 1 Trade Paperback *spoilers*

If there is anything I love more than comics, it's comics that are made companies that aren't DC or Marvel. I'm a sucker for 90's Image comics as my main squeeze at my comic store will tell you. Last time I was in River City Comics in Berlin, New Jersey I picked up the used trade of The Darkness. I was more familiar with the video game based off the comic series (though I've never played it). Never the less I was very curious so I decided to give this comic a read. The Darkness is published by Top Cow comics who also brought us Witchblade and Lady Death.

I don't sing "I believe in a thing called love"

The story is about a mob hitman named Jackie Estacado. If there's one this Jackie likes than pleasing his Uncle Frankie (the head of the Franchetti crime family), it's romancing the ladies. On his 21st birthday he is given the powers of The Darkness. He is gets a suit that morphs to his will and can summon many little demons to do his bidding. With this new found power Jackie has a few problems. One, a man named Sonatine has his childhood friend, Jenny, hostage. Sonatine's goal to be controlling Jackie and using The Darkness to influence the world in his image. Two, a being by the name of Angelus wants Jackie dead in order to kill off The Darkness for good so she can rule the world (a lot of that going around). Three, if Jackie gets any woman pregnant then he will immediately die and pass on the curse to his child who will receive it upon his or her 21st birthday (Jackie is very upset about this). Four, Jackie has a limit to all this power. The Darkness can only be used at night or in the shadows, sun light will stop him. Using his new found powers, will he be able to overcome all these issue? Well he seems to do pretty well for the first six issues.

Now, I love mobster anything. I find organized crime fascinating. So Jackie using his powers to help Uncle Frank remain at the top of the crime world is really neat. Estacado has to decide how far he is willing to go with The Darkness and for Jenny's sake, keep a little good inside of him. Jackie is a bad guy, but from our stand point he is the hero humanity needs.

He is going to save the world

Garth Ennis writes the story for these books and I love it. There are parts that are strictly business, but there is witticism and comedy throughout the story. Jackie is a sarcastic jerk, but you can't help but like his character. Ennis has written for both John Constantine and The Punisher, this time he just combine the two into one awesome character. Marc Silvestri has a perfect style for this book. He helps to make everything look great and gives a sexy but sinister feel to everything. The design of costume is amazing with colors of green and gold in there instead of just black. Jackie's little demon friends aren't little devils with horns and cloven feet, they're little goblins with personality. The story and the art is well done in the book. I couldn't put the it down.

Also a licensed chiropractor

The Darkness, to me, is a more refined and well thought out version of 90's Valiant, Image, and Malibu comics. Yes, pulpy gritty violence is rampant throughout the story, but the writing is the main focus. I was interested in the history of Jackie's father and the origins of Angelus and The Darkness. I laughed when Estacado cracked a sarcastic remark in the face of death. Great read really, I highly recommend picking this up for cheap. I'm super interested in picking up the next volume and seeing what Jackie further does with The Darkness. I actually want to go pick up the video game and give it a play for some extra story. I give the Darkness eight demon helpers with attitude out of ten. If you like anything Ennis has written then do yourself a favor at check it out.

For those about to rock

Mad Max Retrospective Part 1 (Mad Max 1979) *spoilers*

With the release of Mad Max: Fury Road, many fans are excited to see an old friend return to the screen. I grew up watching Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome not having any idea what it was about. I was young and I idolized Mel Gibson (before he went crazy). When I got older I got a chance to watch Mad Max and The Road Warrior, and I fell in love with the mythos and character. Max was "the man with no name" of a post apocalyptic world.  My girlfriend had never heard of Mad Max and seeing the trailer left her with questions like "What is that movie about?", "Who is Mad Max?", "Why are you drooling?". So for my girlfriend's benefit (and mine) we have decided to watch the Mad Max trilogy in anticipation for the upcoming reboot. Obviously we started with George Miller's breakout hit; Mad Max.

You ain't cool unless you wear leather

Mad Max takes place in a future where civilization still exsists but many small towns between larger cities are being terrorized by nomadic biker gangs. Max is part of the MFP (Main Force Patrol) who are charged with keeping order between these desolate hamlets. Max is the best on the force making him a hero in a time where there is no such things. The movie  begins with Max chasing down a hooligan by the name of "The Night Rider" who had just killed an MFP officer. During the pursuit, Night Rider is killed by accident with Max to blame. He will be avenged by his friend "The Toecutter" and his bad of miscreants. On a rampage mourning their lost comrade, one of Toecutter's men, Johnny the Boy, is left behind and captured by Max and his partner Jim Goose. Later, Jim becomes enraged when the MFP have to let Johnny go because no one would show up to testify. Jim, beats on Johnny and makes himself an enemy of the Toecutter's gang. Goose will later be burned alive by the gang and Max loses his will to stay on the force. Max wants to live his life with his wife and child and not be the hero people see him as. Leaving the force, Max and his family run into the Toecutter and his gang. They are terrorized and eventually Max's wife and child are killed. Max, having lost everything he held dear, goes on a one man mission of revenge. Max kills all the members of the gang with little remorse in his supercharged V8. The movie ends with him driving away after he left Johnny the Boy handcuffed to a wrecked car that was rigged to explode. He gave Johnny a hacksaw saying it would take him ten minutes to cut through the cuffs but only five to cut through his leg. Max wanted a normal life, but instead he became a reluctant hero in a world that sorely needed one.

he's the hero we need but don't deserve

Mad Max at the time was a highly profitable movie opening a new genre, a new film market, and Mel Gibson's career. Having seen The Road Warrior and Thunderdome before with movie I was a little dissappinted at the content. Seeing it now, it is a movie based on showcasing it's main character and his story before he became the lone wolf hero of the future. For the first movie in a highly profitable series, it's great but feels out of place. This movie does something that the sequels do not, which is tell the story in the here and now. Later movies, will have someone at the beginning and end talking about how they met Max, how he saved them, and how he was never seen again. This is the Evil Dead of the series; the sequel explains just as much as the first and true fans only go back to watch it. The movie is excellent but I could see where people would find the sequels superior. I happen to really enjoy the movie, even if I think The Road Warrior is the most superior movie of the trilogy.

We're way to sassy for this

This movie it isn't overly violent, it has a refined story, and itallows an opening for later movies. From my girlfriend's stand point this was a nice way for her to wade into the pool, until she watches Roadwarrior and gets dunked head first into something Fury Road will be more like. Mad Max gets seven nomadic bikers out of ten. A must see for anyone trying to get into Mad Max mythos. Check back next time to see part two of the Mad Max retrospective, The Road Warrior.

One down, two to go

 

Thoughts on Batman Year One Trade Paperback

DC may not be where Marvel is in the live action market. The Nolan Trilogy for Batman is excellent and Man of Steel was entertaining, but Green Lantern and Jonah Hex leave a lot to be desired. However, their cartoon movies are above and beyond anyone's expectations. Batman: Under the Red Hood may very well be one of the best movies I have ever seen. With other successful releases like Justice League: Doom and Green Lantern: First Flight it's very hard not to be pleased with their cartoon features. Many years ago, DC released a movie for Batman: Year One. I knew nothing about the story, but Batman in the title means mostly Batman in the movie...right? I put in the disc and found it to be less Batman and more Commissioner Gordon. It's not that I don't like Gordon, because I certainly do, but I wanted Batman action. Having seen the movie, a certain reluctance came with ever reading the book. Recently, I picked up the trade and decided to give it a read. I found Batman: Year One to be an excellent read and worth anyone's time.

The book is,of course, about Batman and Commissioner Gordon starting out their respective careers in Gotham City. Gordon has a past and wants to do some good in Gotham to make his family's life better. Bruce Wayne is on a mission to avenge his parents and restore Gotham to former glory. Both meet resistance along the way, but through the struggles our heroes persevere and become the heroes we know them as. No one starts anything off perfect. Batman and Gordon had to work for everything they have now. This story really shows it.

This story really shows the dedication both men have to sticking to their morals. Gordon could've become a dirty cop like a lot of GCPD were. It's easy to take kick back and brides when everyone else is doing it. He helped to clean up the precinct and many years later will become the commissioner. Bruce Wayne could've donated money to the cause instead of putting on a suit and getting his hands dirty. Bruce could've decided to kill his foes instead of handing them into the authorities. Year One is a story about how dedicated someone has to be to do anything of meaning in their lives.

I really like Frank Miller's approach to most of his stories. I'm not saying he doesn't have bad books because he does (The Dark Knight Strikes Again), but his stories are down to Earth and put a much darker spin on the character. Dave Mazzucchelli and Richmond Lewis really give the panels an amazing feel. The colors I think are perfect. It has a pulp comic feel but more richness. The contrast in the characters lines make the art less defined but highly detailed. Bottom line, the story is great and the art is wonderful.

I wouldn't say the book is very high on action. I feel the words are stronger than anything you'll see on the page. The action really doesn't happen until the late middle and end. You're in this one for the character development and drama. If you're look for some great fights then I would lean to suggesting another comic entirely. If you want to spend an hour or two engrossed in the realm of early batman, then please pick this up.

I feel bad for not reading this book so many years ago. I let a movie sour me on something that was quite amazing. Now that I've read the book, the movie is actually very spot on. It follows the comic to a T. I complained about Batman not getting enough screen time, well he had it. However, panels in a book doesn't translate well to minutes on a screen. So I'm going to have to apologize to DC for not appreciating one of their better animated features. I'm going to give Batman: Year One eight more years of Batman out of ten. If you haven't read it yet; please pick it up. It's an excellent addition to any comic collection.

The Creeping Terror (1964) Review *spoilers*

Only a select few movies are inherently unwatchable. Most movies that are "bad" fall into the category of "So bad it's good". Well, for day eight of my twelve days of creature features I found a movie that perpetually lives in that category. It was directed by Vic Savage and was made on a very low budget. The budget was so low that it was actually funded by the actors that appeared in the movie. It had such a limited release, people really can't agree on its release date. With great mediocrity, I give you...

Not just any terror; a CREEPING one

The movie begins with out hero (Vic Savage) and his new wife coming back from their honeymoon. Savage is a cop whose Uncle is the sheriff of the town. An alien ship has just crashed on the outskirts of town. While our hero and the Sheriff go off to check out the crash site, one of the aliens escapes the ship. The alien is some sort of slug beast, but to me it looks like a Chinese New Year dragon that is missing a head. The slug beast attacks a couple who are getting hot and heavy in the woods (kind of a weird scene to see in a movie from the late 50's). Meanwhile, the Sheriff enters the ship to find out whats wrong. The sheriff screams, then Savage goes in to help and sees another alien which is trapped in wreckage. I still don't know how the sheriff was killed by a trapped creature... must have fell right into its mouth. With the alien confined to the ship. the army and a scientist are called in to check the site.

What do you mean my cowboy hat is too big?

The alien who is free roams the countryside, killing any person it can find. It goes to the fishing hole, it attacks lovers lane, it kills at a hootenanny with beatniks, and then finally a dance hall (there is an extra in the dance hall scene who is the worst dancer ever.  here is a link to see just how terrible. You'll know who it is when you see it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUCQSeuVBno ) Eventually the army shows up to take on the monster. The general has the army line up in a row and fire upon the slug beast. The attack does nothing except make an easy meal for our creature. With limited options, the general throws a grenade at the creature. the blast kills the creature... don't know why you wouldn't lead off with a grenade throw though. Also, if a grenade killed it; why didn't gunfire do anything?

Don't movie, stay in one line men. Make it easy on the creature!

The alien that was trapped on the ship is now set free and attacks everyone including the scientist. While it was snacking on the professor, Vic Savage shows up and rams his car into the beast, killing it (for being superior outer space beings, they certainly are easy to kill). The professor lays dying saying that monsters were sent to study earthlings via digestion. All the data they had was sent back to there home world in the event of the aliens' demise. The doctor says that they won the battle but lost the war. However, maybe by the time the aliens finally bring reinforcements to Earth, humans will be ready and more intelligent. Then the movie just ends. Nothing like ending the movie on a prosaic high note.

This movie was a mass of good ideas, but they were executed rather poorly. The movie follows a general formula of a 60's scifi movie. It offers nothing new to the genre except am all new low in standards. The movie was plagued with a lot of problems. For example, the monster used in the movie was not the intended monster. Apparently, a different monster costume was supposed to be used but was stolen days before filming. Short on time, the crew came up with the rug monster this movie is known for. Another problem this movie suffered from was lose of audio. There are many scenes in the movie where the audio is simply lost and very few people know why. There was a running joke that the reel was dropped into Lake Tahoe during the filming, but that has been debunked. To fix this problem, Vic Savage had a local radio host narrate over those scenes in post production. Many times in watching the film, it feels like 50's educational film used in high schools. A lot of the scenes have poorly dubbed audio too which can take anyone out of the movie.

Even if the those issues been remedied, I can not say if the movie would've be any better. The script and story of the movie are just simply bad. The acting is by far the worst part. Most of the actors in the movie were random town peoples who paid money in order to be in the film, and it shows. You can't make a great film solely using country folks who wanted to be Hollywood stars. Any director or production company would have cut there loses and never released the film. For whatever reason though, it was released and will forever remain as a terrible scifi movie.

People have probably purchased this

The movie may be horrifically bad, but it was not a chore to watch. It is actually entertaining from a spoof stand point. Savage had to have been some sort of fool not to market this as a comedy. It's everything comedy scifi movies are made of. There are actually two sequels inspired by this film (college students at the University of Michigan created Return of the Creeping Terror and The Creeping Terror Strikes Back). If anyone was going to watch this, bring some friends over and take shots at how bad the movie really is. Everyone will have a great laugh at the movies expense. I'm going to give this movie, two carpet slug monsters out of ten. A bad movie technically, but a funny movie worth the time to watch if you want to laugh hard.

Venom Trade Paperback Thoughts *spoilers*

I really try to be a great comic collector, but I always miss an issue here or there. When I was getting back into collecting, I picked up the first four issues of Venom (2011). My friend, Dave, was a huge fan of Venom and we decided to start collecting them together. Unfortunately, money and inconvenience got the best of us and we only ever got the first couple issues (Dave literally bought every variant he could). It's been years since I've read anything on the adventures of Flash Thompson as Agent Venom. Luckily, I was at River City Comics (my comic store of choice) and found a used trade of Venom (Issue 1-5). I picked it up and I recently had some time to give it a read. At no point in reading this was I not entertained or smiling. The age of good writing in comics is not dead.

For anyone who doesn't know, Flash Thompson lost his legs in the Iraqi war. Being a war hero the government felt Flash could handle a new sort of job that reflected his skills. Thompson is given the Venom symbiote and is tasked with saving the world often. I've seen him on the cover of Guardians of the Galaxy, he's been in Secret Avengers, and he's still got his own running series. Agent Venom is even in a spin off of the Ultimate Spider-Man show. Flash has been a busy boy.

'Merica

Each issue has a point where the government official in charge reminds Flash of something. Flash can only wear the suit for 48 hours at max. The government worries about the symbiote taking over and becoming a whole new problem. This gives Flash certain deadlines to watch during missions otherwise the government will blow up the suit with him inside. Flash has to regain his composure often to keep the suit in check. Getting angry or scared allows the symbiote to take over. It's a great plot device because the suit has amazing power, but it comes at a cost. Flash is constantly in a war zone making sure people are safe. This makes him stress and he worries about the deadline. Thomspon can get scared or angry. However, he is able to keep the symbiote in check. Venom gives Flash physical strength and his ability to walk, but Thompson has the stronger will.

I love how the writers keep the idea of Venom fresh. They put a soldier in the suit who has training with firearms and weaponry. The suit is more than capable of dealing with any situation just using its powers. However, Flash's training has him using guns and grenades. His objectives and battlefield composure keep his mind clear. The symbiote can be worn by any schmo, but Flash has the mastery needed to use it well. Even with Flash's military prowess and new found strength, the suit still has weaknesses. Not only is there the constant serenity Thompson needs uphold, but sonic waves still affect symbiote. There are many times where Flash notices bats or bells and has to change his strategy mid fight. Venom's suit will still freak out and leave Flash vulnerable and legless. I'm a fan of a hero being extremely strong but having some huge weaknesses. These devices make the readers feel like there is actual conflicts and therefore more engaging.

cause bullets!

The villains so far are very awesome and unexpected. Venom's nemesis so far has been Jack 'o Lantern, a violent psychopath with Halloween themed gadgets. Jack's weapons are childish but deadly like acid candy or paper ghosts that entrap his enemies. Jack has a vendetta against Flash because as Venom he destroyed his face with a grenade. The bad blood makes Jack more threatening and personal. He has even taken Betty Brant hostage to spite Flash. Kraven shows up in the Savage Land hunting down Flash treating him as quarry. Kraven does a great job at making Venom's mission hellish. Most importantly, Flash has to fight his childhood hero, Spider-Man. Since high school, Flash and Peter have become great friends. So the fights between them are so frustrating. When Betty is kidnapped, Spider-Man and Venom are both trying to save her. When they see each other, Spider-
Man assumes that Venom is responsible. Flash knows there is a time limit on Betty's life so he acts like the villain. He just tells Spider-Man where she is in hopes that the fight will stop and one of them can save her. The symbiote also hates Spider-Man which makes all this very taxing. I just think its a great part of the story. He's trying to be the hero but having the stigma of previously being known as the villain. He can't work with his role model because he symbolizes so many years of bad blood.

 

he puts Silver Shamrock to shame (Halloween 3)

Venom is a powerful hero, but outside the suit Venom deals with other weaknesses. In the suit, Flash can run and jump like he used to. It's hard for him to remember being the football star and hero, but then going back to being legless. His life isn't terrible as a handicapped person. He has a girlfriend who loves him, but even that's a struggle. Flash is gone for days at a time. He can't tell Betty that he is out doing government work. Betty just assumes he's lying to her like previous love interests. Flash also deals with being a recovering alcoholic. His father drank and beat on Flash, so when he grew up so did he. He is sober now, but it's tough. He makes a point to show a bar with a wheel chair ramp, but a church with an AA meeting that only had stairs. The loss of control isn't just with the symbiote, it's with his real life as well. So many flaws makes Agent Venom an excellent hero and read. People have real problems in life and it's comforting to know heroes face real life issues.

From my personal experience, I've found Flash Thompsens run as Venom syntilating. The first five issues really give you a feel for his struggles in and out of the suit. The action is rather instense though a bit violent for younger readers. I loved the art by Tony Moore and Tom Fowler. I love The Walking Dead so that's probably why I love the art (Flash looks a bit like Rick Grimes). A very big round of applause for Rick Remender who has come up with not only a great story, but a great use of symbolism and conflict. I would recommend this to anyone looking for action packed comics that are gritty and violent. If anyone is a fan of Venom or Spider-Man then absolutely give Venom a read if you haven't already. Flash has been around since the first issue of Spider-Man. Glad to see he is no longer on the sidelines and is getting into the fray.

Just like my man; Spider-Man

Thoughts on The Death of Superman *spoilers*

I recently picked up the trade of Death of Superman. I had never read it before so I thought I would give gander. It's hard to find someone who isn't familiar with Superman dying at the hands of Doomsday. This story was one of the biggest parts of the 90's and had an impact. DC was going to kill off one of their most popular and best selling heroes. This stunt worked, millions of copies of Superman #75 were sold. Many stores ran out opening day because so many people bought multiple copies. I knew I had to give it a read, but was it worth it.

I finished the trade and was at odds of where to stand. Yes, there are very powerful scenes, but does that make a story great.  I thought the story was very well thought out. One of the creators of Superman praised this story, but it's not perfect. I love Doomsday, he is a classic villain.  On the other hand, I thought the fight was a huge cop out and didn't end like I wanted it to. I'm very split, but I don't feel bad at spending the time to read this story. I think the real problem was I was born too late to appreciate it. It is like reading Secret Wars, but not getting the tension of reading it week by week. Don't get me wrong though, it still has powerful moments.

Some of the stories strongest didn't involve the fighting. There is a scene where Superman is on a Q and A with high school students. A girl asked him about if he felt fear or if he liked dishing out violence to solve problems. Superman answers back saying he is always afraid of hurting people or failing everyone and how fear is a part of the job. He also explains that he doesn't like violence, but if he has to fight he will because the Earth needs protection. That is excellent dialogue and writing. Yes, I know Superman is overpowered but he isn't full of himself. The writers took the time to address Superman's emotions and see he has feelings and fears like regular people do. There is also a scene where Lois gets a brief exchange with Superman before his final moments. Lois begs him to run and find help, but he knows he can't and he knows he is the only force protecting Metropolis. Superman knows the end is near and kisses Lois telling her that no matter what he will always love her. It's the small cliched exchanges that make this story great from a structural stand point.

I liked the fight scenes with Doomsday and the Justice League. The team consisted of many "interesting" heroes who are pretty awesome in their own right, but are nowhere near strong enough to fend off Doomsday. Guy Gardner was the first to fight Doomsday and he gets the beat up so hard his eyes get swollen shot. Gardner actually needs help later to aim his ring at Doomsday because he can't see. Blue Beetle gets taken by surprise by Doomsday and gets beat up bad. He gets so mangled that he needs to be taken to the hospital otherwise he would have died. Doomsday manages to take the team out with little issue. More impressive is that he has one hand tied down, so he's doing the beating with one hand. Doomsday fighting the league showed how powerful he was, but fighting Superman he was even more so. However, the fights between him and Superman are not my favorite. It's not that it is a bad fight because it isn't, I just felt it was a cop out. The final blows between Doomsday and Superman weren't definitive and to me Doomsday should have walked away from it. If DC wanted to make Superman's death mean something, then this was the way to go. I may have thought the fight was blah, but it doesn't mean it didn't keep me interested.

One other thought I had was the strength of the actual Justice League. The members of the group were: Fire, Bloodwynd, Ice, Guy Gardener (not in the Lantern Corp anymore), Maxima, Blue Beetle, and Booster Gold. I want to be clear and say that these heroes are all really awesome, especially Ted Kord Blue Beetle and Booster Gold. However, this is not the world strongest group of heroes. I didn't do a whole lot of research as to why Wonder Woman, Hal Jordan, The Flash, and Batman (okay Batman might have had his back broken) weren't around when this was happening but they left the B team to save the world.  This would be like The Power Rangers taking a vacation and leaving Bulk, Skull, and Alpha to save the world. The League comprised of members who are great for assisting and crowd control but were not and still aren't heavy hitters. Again, this was the 90's and it was a strange era in comics but no wonder Doomsday went through the league like it was nothing.

I think when it truly comes down to it, The Death of Superman is a period piece. Superman's tattered cape blowing in the wind while Lois clutches his dead body will always be a powerful image. However, does it really matter now that he is alive again. Superman stayed dead for less than a year and fans were upset. It is in expensive to find a death of Superman comic still sealed in the bag for less that $10. This was a stunt that sold many comics, but it almost killed the industry. This book is a 90's relic best left to be brought up in arguments about who would win in a fight. I'm not saying to not read this story because it's worth the read, but only once. Read it once and put it on the shelf so non-comic readers look and say "Wait? Superman died?"

I'm still trying to forget

Horror High (1974) *spoilers*

I enjoyed my high school experience, but others feel it a nightmare. While high school is hard on some, the movie Horror High shows that it was murder on Vernon Potts. Day seven of my creature features is dedicated to a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde plot that is pretty well done. I really didn't find too much on this movie other than it's other title, The Twisted Brain.

The prequel to Horror U

We meet the protagonist, Vernon Potts, as he is being reprimanded by his English teacher. Apparently, Vern handed in his biology paper instead of his English paper (classic Vernon). Instead of being nice and understanding the situation, she flunks his English paper and destroys the biology paper he handed in (this must be Horror High). Vern is feeling pretty down and heads to the bio lab to work on his project. He is trying to make a serum that changes the user and makes him stronger. While he's in the room, the janitor comes in and threatens Vern about shooing his cat (the cat was trying to get at Vern's guinea pig). The argument gets a bit heated but the janitor leaves stroking his cat. Then his crush comes in and starts flirting with Vern, only to have her jock boyfriend come in and ruin the moment. Finally, Vern is harassed by the gym teacher and gets beat up in the locker room (the most stereotypical nerd hating school around apparently).

What is this kissing of which you speak?

Later that night, Vern sneaks back into the lab to check on his guinea pig. Vern had given it the serum to Mr. Mumps (sick name for a guinea pig) earlier in the day.  Apparently it worked because the janitor's cat is mangled. Mr. Mumps protected itself, but the janitor really loved that cat. As Vern tries to dispose of the body, the custodian walks in and proceeds to beat up Vern (yes, he is beating the crap out of a student). He makes Vern drink the serum and he kills the guinea pig (What kind of school is this? Is Morgan Freeman showing up?). Enraged by all these things, Vernon transforms into a beast and kills the janitor. He hides all of the bodies in the lab into an acid barrel.The next morning, one of the students discovers a skeleton in the acid and the police are called in.

Now they have a skeleton for anatomy

When the police show up, the most fly police officer ever struts into the school. His name is Lt. Bozeman, but because he clearly is Shaft I'll refer to him as such. Shaft questions all the students in the school and finally gets to Vernon. When questioned, Vern plays it cool and answers the detectives questions. Vern is awkward and digging a hole for himself, he can't be the murderer. Shaft lets Vern go back to class. English class is finished, but as Vern tries to leave his menopausal teacher calls him over saying that he is failing the class. She explains that if he comes to school every Wednesday night for English club, he can pass the class. Wednesday is the only day however, Vernon can go to the library but she doesn't care. Well...Vernon's ticked.

Reading Rainbow Guy would kill for books too

So Vernon takes his potion and kills his teacher. Shaft questions the students again and talks to Vernon who seems to be taking all these deaths in stride. Again, Vernon is dismissed but Shaft tells him that in the acid barrel they also found a cat and guinea pig skeleton (he knows Vernon was working with the guinea pig). Vernon is back in the lab when his crush shows up to greet him. She says she is having trouble with biology and needs his help. She says her boyfriend will be away that night, so Vernon and her will be all alone (ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh!). Our protagonist is having a pretty good day so far, until his gym teacher starts harassing him again. He tells Vernon that if he helps one of the football players pass a test by cheating, then he gets the rest of the gym semester off. Vernon does not believe in cheating, but a threat here and there puts Vern in an awkward position. The teacher tells him to call him tonight at 10pm to give his answer. Guess what Vernon is doing later?

I'm one bad mother- shut your mouth

After awkwardly kissing and leaving his crush, Vernon heads to the school. The gym teacher is walking around the school because he hears noises, then suddenly he is grabbed. The police are scoping out the school to keep any eye out for the murderer. After questioning the teacher, they let him go and promptly leave the school. Vernon shows up out of the shadows just in time to stomp his gym teacher to death. The police are searching the school looking for the killer, and find the jock boyfriend.

All of Vern's problems have seemingly vanished. He isn't bullied anymore. His crush likes him and her boyfriend is in jail. Besides Shaft having an exorbitant amount of circumstantial evidence, he can write this off as a good week. Well, it was until the boyfriend is set free from jail. He calls up Vernon and says he saw him climbing out of the lab window when the gym teacher was killed. Vernon tells him to meet up at the school so they can finish this. While Vern is making more potion, his crush shows up and explains that it's all a trap to capture Vern and the police are involved. Scared and enraged, Vern transforms (without taking the potion) and begins chasing his crush. When he finally catches up to her, he can't hurt her. Vernon loves her too much to bring her any harm, but he is ashamed and runs from her. While outside, the police see him and give chase. While running, Vern sees the boyfriend (who is on the opposite side of a window and taunts monster Vern) and pulls him out of the school. Vernon starts beating on him and before he can kill the jock, the police fire a barrage of bullets. Vernon falls to the ground dead as his crush comes out and sits next to his body.

I died a virgin! So close!

This was a pretty good interpretation of Dr, Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. It was so 70's it dripped with camp, but I enjoyed it. Vernon may have been a homicidal maniac, but I felt bad for him. It's like seeing every reboot of Spider-Man and waiting for Peter to get his powers. Pat Cardi played Vernon and I thought he did a good job of it, even if he over acted quite a bit. This was his last acting job, but he has been in and out of projects since Horror High. Now, the coolest damn character was Shaft who was played by Austin Stoker and I would warrant watching the movie just for him. The music was pretty good, but the film looked really pulpy. It could've been the version I watched or it just didn't translate well to digital. The monster transformation wasn't very unique other than adding shoulder pads and changing the voice. The best part about the monster was how little you saw of him. Vernon was mostly in the shadows and had a skulk to his walk which made the monster scarier not having a good look at it. I don't know what else to say except that I liked it and I would recommend this to anyone in the mood for a pulpy gore fest.

I'm just a sucker for some of these movies and I can't pin point why I like some over others. Maybe my expectations are really low walking in and with that I find them excellent. Regardless, I give this movie five bullied nerds out of ten. Give it a shot when you're up late and want to kill an hour and a half. I don't think you'll be too disappointed.